I usually have visits with my daughters twice a week and those visit are dictated by the step mother of my daughters. There is a claim that decisions are made by both of them, although he barely speaks to me.
This was a beautiful hot day on a Friday. I showed up a little after 6pm. I was suppose to be there at 6 but went to Zellers to get my daughters some things to play with during the visit (coloring book, crayons and bubbles). I saw the father working on the garden in the front of the house and paid no notice to him. I then seen the step mother holding my baby who is 17 months. My baby noticed me and wanted to come down and was held tighter by the step mom who continued to the back yard. I followed.
As I walked through the gate after her she made a remark "Can't you close the gate!" She always has had a problem with me. I grabbed and hugged my angel tight as she came running to me and yelled "Mommy!". She knows who I am, but also calls the step mom "Mommy". I have never corrected my children when they call her that. They have that right because their father is now married to her. My 3 year old was using the washroom and came out after she finished and came to play to. We started with the bubbles. I always have a bag of things to do when I visit. We started blowing the bubbles and the dog they have came and jumped at the bubbles, knocking my baby down in the process. Finally the father seen this and put the dog inside. The step mom got upset and said the dog was doing nothing wrong and that the father was torturing him. He told her that he was knocking the baby down and she said the the baby was fine. I never made a comment. She walked away and called the father an "a-hole". Using the full word.
The visit went on with bubbles and coloring and stick on tattoos. She got upset and asked me to ask before I put one on my baby because she has sensitive skin. I later found an older stick on tattoo on her other arm that was rubbed off. She wanted me also to awnser her after she made her comment. So I looked up the second time and said "I heard you, alright." In a non-threatening tone.
I continued to play on the swing set that they had for the girls, colored and played and counted with them. I have fun when I shut out the step mom. As my hour and a half closed I hugged and kissed my girls. They both tell me they love me. It takes a little coaxing with the baby but she says it. When I say coaxing I mean in a sweet way to tickle her and get her to say "I love you."
I leave after the good-byes. Noticing all the times that the step mom had intervened with me playing with my girls by calling them over and doing something with them. The angry tone she has with me the most of the time. I walk home cause I live just a few blocks away. I have so much on my mind.
Earlier in the day I got $500 from my boyfriend to put on a lawyer to get help in getting a custody order in place. I only want part time. Actually half time. I have every right to know my girls and my girls to know me. I know when the father gets served the step mom will have words with me. Its nothing new on her part and I usually never act out in anger. I want to show my kids that anger is not the answer. I am doing this for my oldest daughter as well who misses them so much and is not allowed to see them because of "rules" that came from her mouth, not the fathers.
I am not allowed to use the washroom in the house, and I am pregnant. I am not allowed to parent my kids such as change diapers or give them snacks. In time I will explain how this all led up to now. Its an amazing tale and more of the time I always break out into tears. All this will be worth it though to have them in my home and be able to love them the way they deserve!
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